18- the legal adult year

once again i am writing my yearly what i learned this year
so here it is

somethings i've learned
- new years resolutions that you keep are the best- this year i kept my first one. thank you miranda for not giving up on our friendship and i'm glad we got through our rough patch :) you have taught me so much with your compassion to work with me, and i think one of the reasons i grew up and didnt worry as much was because of what you did.

- and also your new years resolutions dont have to be huge. something as small as trying to work on a friendship and move past problems or trying to be fearless. that was this years new years resolution. to be fearless and i think this year i did a pretty good job. i did things i never thought possible and i'm so proud of what i accomplished.

- also dont be afraid to go outside of your comfort level. i danced and sang in my schools musical and i had so much fun just being myself and doing something different. i wish i had been in more shows and hadnt been afraid of what i was capable of. i had told myself for years that i wasnt the theatre type, that i couldnt sing and dance and i didnt have the guts to go on stage and do that. and i did

-also know your cars limits. if it says check gages, get gas now, dont wait 3 days of driving to school and then as your going up a hill run out of gas and roll part of the way down and then have to walk back to school.

- shoot for your stars and take risks. and i say your stars because we all have our own dreams and aspirations, so they are your stars, nobody elses.

- dont get a fantasy image about your senior prom. not worth it, just have fun and enjoy your night.

- i wanted to be a student speaker at my graduation since my freshman year and i saw Jenn Gentrys speech and she mentioned Mr. Melhorn and something about Pokemon. and i did it.  i spoke in front of 10,000 people. and i was fine. it was so scary but somehow i did it. so go out on a limb and shoot for your stars. and someday you'll reach them

- also- get a real job over the summer- that way you dont have to baby sit kids that make you want to pull out your hair- not your kids amy and paul, or monika.

-stay with what makes you happy. playing music and keeping with it through college makes me so happy. i honestly skip to band :) and if you find a professor that cares about you, let them care for you, let them know about whats happening in your life, because those professors are few and far between. i cannot thank Dr. Walters enough


for college bound kids

- DONT BE AFRAID OF GOING TO SCHOOL. tons of kids are doing exactly what you are doing and moving away from home to a new school and living in a dorm with new people and a new environment.
RELAX. take a deep breath. your not going to die and everyone else is in the exact same boat. dont worry about it. enjoy the experience and drink it all in.

- stay in touch with some of your friends from high school, but let go others, i've become better friends with some while others fall through the cracks. its all a part of life, and its ok :)

- dont be afraid of the kids in your dorm. i was so afraid to go down into our common area and talk to a random stranger because i was afraid they would judge me. but inside were all pretty much the same, we want to have friends and to feel accepted and if you treat someone how you want to be treated theres no way they will judge you.

- and college is about being yourself and finding who you are. i've learned alot more this year by having a humble heart and listening ear instead of a massive ego and loud mouth. remember to be a learner and everyone has their own story to tell so be able to listen.

- make some friends. i thought my roommate and i would be best friends forever, but that didnt happen. you can try and try to be someones friend but if they dont want to be yours then you cant do a thing about it. i tried to force a friendship and it just backfired and i ended up hurt. dont beat yourself up if it didnt work with one person. sometimes people just dont click and thats ok. dont cry yourself to sleep and stay up for hours thinking about what you did wrong, sometimes its not you. and thats fine. you dont have to be friends with everyone.

- be open to friendships. i found one of my best friends in one of the most unexpected places and i thought Hallie and i wouldnt click for some reason and getting to know her and hear here story and who she was, we have become really good friends and i am proud to  call her my friend. we're planning on getting an appartment together next year and i cant wait! i love this girl to death!!
and i met Mae and Taylor through band because Mae was another bassoonist and and Taylor was the bass clarinet that sat next to me. we went to Moab a few weeks ago and had an amazing adventure because i had never done anything so crazy before! and i will miss Taylor next semester because shes not taking band :/

- off that note, dont judge a book by its cover. i was afraid of some of the people in my dorm or people in my classes because of how they looked, but getting to know them i'm alot more open and unafraid. i can pretty much talk to anyone now, and thats amazing to me. i'm friends with people i never thought in a million years i would be friends with. i was always the girl in the band, all my friends were music people. i'm now friends with all different types of people who come from all different places with all different backgrounds and tastes and sexual preferences and interests and morals than me. AND THATS FINE! you wont die. i promise.

GO TO ORIENTATION. IT SEEMS NERDY BUT ITS INFORMATIONAL AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU'LL MEET :)

- make one friend in each class. i would just look for an open spot next to someone that looked nice, ask if that spot was taken, sit down and introduce myself. it helps alot if you cant remember the homework or need just help or someone to bounce ideas off of or a person in your group. thanks misa, katie, sara, mae,taylor, and kira :)

- dont wait until the last minute to do an assignment

-do your homework in a timely manner

- dont get sucked into the partying lifestyle, its a bad road to go down, you can party but be smart about it and dont do it on week days

- dont piss off your roommate, respect them and their space and who they are and dont pry into their lives

- your RA is a cool person, unless they're laura, then dont go there.

-GO TO EVERY SINGLE CLASS. ATTENDANCE USUALLY COUNTS FOR YOUR GRADE. and that 10-15% can mean alot if youre hanging between one and another

-be respectful of your professors. they've been around the block a few times. they know this

- dont do anything that makes you really question yourself. sure this is college and you're going to live it up, but dont go party and drink and do drugs if your heart and head are screaming NO!

- school comes first, then partying. remember if you want to stay at this school where all your new friends are and keep the life you have and all the freedom, then make homework and school a priority.


on relationships

- you will find that person in a place you never expected. this is totally true. i thought orientation would be so awful and i thought i wouldnt learn anything and be bored. i came out of it with some memories, a bad sunburn and a while later, a boy i met there.his name is Grant :) hes pretty freaking wonderful

-i thought Grant liked someone else at orientation, apparently he didnt :) i thought i would be chasing him for months, it wasnt months guys:) sometimes your wrong about relationships

- be open to relationships. not all guys are the same. i had terrible luck in highschool and i thought i was butt ugly because no one liked me. first day of college i meet the man of my dreams. i was so scared that it was going to fall through my fingers again and then this one didnt. and we got to our 1 month and it seemed like no time had gone by, then we go to our two month, then three, our four month is in a little more than three days. FOUR MONTHS PEOPLE!! i am so happy to have him.

- so what i guess i'm trying to tell you is, love comes in unexpected places. he was tall athletic and very nice, totally my type, but he wasnt going to fall for a nerdy band girl with self esteem issues. somehow he did :) and i'm thankful everyday i have him :)

- love is out there for you and you just have to be open to it. soak it all in. its wonderful

- but remember to guard your heart, this is you and respect yourself and your body and your feelings and make sure you are respected too.you deserve to be treated how you want to be treated. and if a person isnt doing that than they dont deserve to have someone as wonderful as you in their life.


the rest of life

- people will always suprise you

- be prepared for anything and be flexible.  its not whats thrown at you that matters, its how you take it.

- love all, trust a few, do wrong to none- william shakespeare

- just because your a legal adult, doesnt make you a real adult, you still have alot of growing up to do.

- you still need your mom and dad. even though you say you dont, you cant deny there is nothing better then going home to your parents after  weeks away :)

- family isnt who you are born into, sure there are those related to you that you love, but also those unrelated that care for you, those are family too :)


 life is precious and wonderful and dont forget that. i've definitely learned that this year. my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer on august 8th 2012. and i went off to school 2 weeks after. and you know what? we lived through it. people came out of the wood work and helped us and supported us and i cant thank all of them enough. or the conneticut shootings. i had a class of 1st and 2nd graders my junior year of teacher cadet and i couldnt imagine what all those young children are going through. so much horror and pain. but 2012 i believe has been about buckling down and rising from the ashes. we will rise and next year will be better.

live laugh and love alot

be who you are and say what you feel

and i will love you for it

"Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love."

-and william shakespeare was a wise man, read some more of his work

i love you all

<3 <3 <3

So, this is college :)

wow!
so I'm old enough for this
yeah i guess so
i like it
no let me correct that
i love it!
so here are some of my experiences thus far

-There are so many new people of different backgrounds, cultures, personalities, sexualities and a lot of understanding for us all. Well from what I've seen for the most part. they stress a sense of openness and being able to get along with everyone. You may not like the person but being able to deal with them and be civil can go a long way.

-I have become so close with these 7 other amazing people and we have had so many crazy fun experiences in just the short amount of time together. Maren, Kevin, Grant, Kira, Anna, Emilie, and Nate :) You guys rock and I couldn't ask for a better group of crazies to go to movies or to have adventures with :)

- something magical happens the summer before college and all the boys suddenly turn into super attractive individuals :) best thing ever!!

-My roommate Maren is the cutest thing in the world. Shes about 5'3" and is obsessed with pink. I seriously wish i could show you all a picture of her side of the closet because it is all pink and her side of the room is all pink! You all thought I was girly. Shes even more! Isn't that crazy! but we get along so well and she is so funny and it is a huge relief that we get along so well and all of our friends are in the same group so that's nice :) and shes really laid back and chill so that helps a lot.  and shes in band with me! how much better can it get?!? And we do all these random things. Like the other night the sprinklers were on and we ran through them at midnight and i was so cold! And we had sundress Friday where we both wore sundresses and she has defended and argued with a mean boy that was taking a picture I put on facebook, way over the top. She won :) And now we have glow in the dark stars to put on our ceiling just like were three again! And I'll be trying this stuff that is like Alaskan ice cream that's made with Crisco and berries and sugar. So its pretty cool :)

-you have to be or act healthy if your going to get anything done. i'm trying to drink water and eat fruits and veggies. and it helps actually :)

-I'm pretty sure Bader/Snyder is one of the most unique communities i have ever experienced. 2 am- lets slack line! there was a rock painting party a few days ago. and we go on hikes and plan trips and go to each others events. Although there was apparently a football game last night that i didn't go to.... oooops :) these people honestly never sleep! like ever! I'll walk through the campus at like midnight sometime and all the other areas will be really died down with only maybe 5 people total around most of the campus. But no in just our little area I usually see at least 15-20 out slack lining or doing hookah or singing at some godforsaken hour. Unless the sprinklers have come on, then there are maybe three :) But its so fun

-Our toilet in our suite is the scariest and loudest toilet in the world!! It seriously scared me a couple times in the first few days i was here.

-BAND IS AMAZING! Sorry i just had to put that in caps. But honestly the music is absolutely incredible. And Dr. Walters reminds me of Mr Melhorn so much. But hes a little more OCD. so we never waste a minute in that class. and everyone is so dedicated and i feel so welcomed and loved and i have only played in the full ensemble once this far. He is such a passionate and dedicated man and i feel so privileged just to be playing along with all these amazing musicians and to be directed by him.

-Breakfast is the hardest thing to eat in the morning. Bacon and eggs is not easy to even smell at 7 am,that's just me though

-Its so different than high school. So much more freedom but also more responsibility. No one is going to get you up in the morning if you forgot to set your alarm clock. You have to get up and eat breakfast. There is no one telling you that you should do your homework or to practice. Its all on your shoulders. Which is a good and bad thing. Mostly good though. You see if you are ready for all of this freedom and responsibility and in turn your college experience and grades express that.

- if you have a roommate the will buy you chaps stick after your favorite one looses its cap and gets you the kind that you like :) you are one lucky duck! dont forget that!

-And just the people are more friendly.I could honestly go up and talk to anyone because its a whole new beginning for me! And i enjoy doing that because it feels more like home. Actually one of the main reasons i chose Fort Lewis is because everyone here was so nice and genuine and i felt like i fit here :) and i do fit well :) there's not prejudice, just a wanting to get to know everyone and a very open feeling about and everyone is a lot more mature about drama. i have honestly not seen any and that is pretty incredible :) and the R.A's are really relaxed and trust you. and they don't try to skirt around the issues of like sex, drinking drugs and stuff. they know it will happen. what they try to do is to give us information to help us out in that situation. they know we are all now adults and treat us like that which i think is a very wonderful thing to have :)

I love college and i hope you all get to experience it sometime because it does honestly change you in a good way.In many ways i still am a little girl with big brown eyes, and i still like to eat chocolate and i miss my moms amazing cooking. but this independence and this freedom is an amazing and scary gift to have. I really love college and i couldn't think of a better transition to have from high school :)

i love you all and miss you and feel free to Skype me anytime!
i want to see your beautiful smiling face!
college is a great learning and growing experience and i feel so privileged to be able to experience it and be surrounded by a great group of people :)

thank you all

live
laugh
love a lot
live by the sun
love by the moon
smile some more
and be happy

<3 <3 <3






ohh and there's this boy :)