Myla Dalbesio

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? I mean really looked at yourself?
Looked at the wonder that you are.

It seems weird, but recently I have been looking at myself. And for the first time in a really long time. I actually like all that I see.

Sure I may not be the skinniest girl, or the fittest but I like what I am.
And I think one of the main steps into liking who I am as a person is to first accept what I see in the mirror.

Sure some days the make up doesn't want to go on how I want to. Hell the other day I had to try to put on foundation three times because it just wasn't working. I'd apply a layer and then it wouldn't look like I want for some reason or another, and I would take it off and try again. On the third try I finally was so fed up with it that I just dealt with what the make up gods decided to give me that day.

The make up not working isn't the important part. Its the process. Not only do most women feel insecure with out make up on, but having to apply it over and over again just to be happy with yourself is the problem.

Sure there are parts of me I love and those I don't.

My thighs and my stomach. As most women have those problem areas as well. I have beautiful curves, what are you going to do?

The other day, I was editing a video for my media production class and there's a clip of me in a crop top with leggings and a good portion of my stomach and waist is showing. One of my good friends in that class Allie remarked that "you have a ridiculous waist". And I said that "that was a skinny day".

Why do I have to make excuses for looking good? Is there all that much difference between a "skinny" day and a "fat" day?

I have a small waist, yes. But I was just made that way. I have a rib cage that narrows towards the bottom.

Just like I was made with a narrowed aorta and that's why now I have a hooked scar on my left shoulder. To remind me that I was perfectly made.

To remind me that every part of me is beautiful. Even the scary parts. Even the hooked scar. Even the mushroom shaped scar. Even the emotional scars.

That life is scary and that at the end of the day, the only person you can really count on for making your day better is yourself. The entire world can tell you that you are the most beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, desirable woman in the world. But until YOU believe and can look in the mirror and see the beauty not only inside you but also so you can look past the scary parts and see the beautiful ones, that's when you are truly beautiful.

I saw a ten minute video about Myla Dalbesio. She is a new model for Calvin Klein and is a size 10. Which is around what I am. This beautiful woman with wonderful curves talks about self acceptance and at the end of the video we see her in just her bra and underwear. She looks like any normal woman. Not the most tone, but healthy. Just her sitting there reminded me that, I am beautiful no matter what size.

She is considered a plus size model. The lovely vibrant woman with all of her wonderful curves that looks like so many american woman is, considered plus size!

It really struck me how we value beauty to be a certain size. Size 0. Like any of us are really that size! That these willowy woman get to decide what is beautiful. Just think about how amazing a dress looks on a size 0 versus a size 10. That hourglass figure is where beautiful is at!

There were tryouts for a fashion show that was going to be going on at FLC later on this month. And girls had to be a certain height, and have certain measurements. I looked at what the designers professional website asked for, And I realized, I wasn't going to fit. They had said that sizes and height was negotiable, but I was so afraid that I was going to be the "fat" girl that I didn't even think about trying out. I even measured myself to see what I really was and even though I was a few inches off in some places, I still pushed it out of my mind. I didn't want to have to go up against these stick thin girls with perfectly flat stomachs and toned thighs.

I am a beautiful woman. AND I NEED TO REALIZE THAT!

YOU NEVER NEED TO COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE ELSE!

Why do we pin all of our confidence on whether or not people perceive us as beautiful. Its like the more people that are after us, the more confidence we have, and the more we like ourselves. And then when the pool of men had dried up, so has our confidence on how beautiful we are. Isn't our society so screwed up!?!

So I am a proposing a change to you, whatever gender you are. Just go look in the mirror and find one thing, even the most minuscule, about yourself that you like. Hell it could be that sweet little freckle on your knee for all I care!

And just love it. That's all.

Love yourself and don't let anyone else define your worth!

Because you are beautiful.